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FEATURE

KRISTEN STEWART VS. EVERYONE

By Matt Glazebrook, April 9, 2017

We love menswear, but we aren’t particularly precious about whether it's men wearing it. In these increasingly a-gendered and androgynous fashion times, some of the finest exponents of "guy" style are women — and none more so than part-time vampire and full-time unisex-skate-steez icon Kristen Stewart. In honor of her 27th birthday, we’ve pitted K-Stew against seven other sartorial and grooming heroes to see who we’d most want as our own Personal Shopper.

mia goth and shia labeouf

Pictures: Mega, Flynet

Kristen Stewart vs. Shia LaBeouf

In the world of retro-white-logo-tee-based couple dressing, Shia LaBeouf — owner of a seemingly endless supply of quirky printed souvenir tops — bows to no man. But what about to a woman? Shia’s "The Sea Chest Oyster Bay" number is a fine example of the genre, expertly styled — as per — with none-more-normcore joggers and Nike Cortez, and coordinated nicely with Mia Goth’s more subtle "Yosemite Campground" chest print. 

kristen stewart in a T-shirt

Kristen and former girlfriend Alicia Cargile’s double tee action ("1984 Major League Baseball All-Star Game" memento and a Supreme top) may lack the pure left-field quality of Shia LaGoth’s, but their overall perfectly imperfect matchiness (subtly different shades of gray skinny jeans, beanie vs baseball cap, black Cons vs. black Vans) takes this one for the girls.

Winner: Kristen Stewart

alex turner

Picture: Goff

Kristen Stewart vs. Alex Turner

This side of Johnny Depp in Cry-Baby, no one is more associated with leather-jacket-and-a-quiff rocker cool than Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner — but that didn’t stop Kristen making a tilt at his tonsorial title in January this year.

kristen stewart

Pictures: Goff, Flynet

Her Sundance festival pompadour earns points for ambition (quiffs and snowstorms aren’t the best bedfellows) but her brief Brylcreem flirtation can’t really match Alex’s commitment to the cause. 

 

Winner: Alex Turner

aaron paul

Pictures: Flynet, Splash

Kristen Stewart vs. Aaron Paul

There are few menswear moves more simple and satisfying than throwing a black biker jacket over a black hoodie and gray T-shirt and calling it cool-guy spring win. Aaron Paul’s is a classic take — finished with washed-black skinny jeans and black boots for a bulletproof off-duty look. 

kristen stewart in a leather jacket

Picture: Splash

But see how Kristen elevates the vibe ever so slightly with straight-leg work-pants, making it both a touch smarter and good deal more warm(ish)-weather ready? And, of course, she adds sunglasses to this most shades-appropriate of outfits. Aaron, what were you thinking?

 

Winner: Kristen Stewart

kristen stewart

Pictures: Rex

Kristen Stewart vs. Wiz Khalifa

Lest you thought Stewart a one-trick stylish skate pony, here she is adapting her androgynous approach to a smarter occasion and absolutely smashing it. A slick side-parted hairdo and well-cut suit in a punchy (but not overly showy) shade of burgundy could be immediately stolen for your next wedding or Bar Mitzvah — but what’s underneath poses more of a problem. 

wiz khalifa

While men may have the upper hand, naked upper torso-wise, at the local swimming baths and on Instagram, the balance of power shifts when it comes to a formal party. Women can get away with a degree of flesh exposure that just wouldn’t fly for a guy. Wiz Khalifa is with K-Stew in spirit, baring a decent amount of his tatted-up chest, but he’s wisely included a white button-up shirt as well to keep his deconstructed smartwear dress-code appropriate. 

 

Winner: Wiz Khalifa

kristen stewart in a sweatshirt

Pictures: Rex, Xposure

Kristen Stewart vs. Scott Disick

Of all the lessons that dudes can learn from girls who dress like dudes, this is perhaps the most meaningful. A quality, oversized black sweatshirt, straight-leg "boyfriend jeans" (or, in this case, just "jeans"), and a pair of classic minimalist sneakers are an absolute can’t-miss combo when you want to look like you aren’t trying, but you actually are.

Scott Disick

Picture: Xposure

Kanye West knows this, and so does his brother in duds Scott Disick, rocking a Supreme x Misfits tee and Reebok Workouts all the way to low-key Sunday style nirvana. But somehow Kristen’s knee rips, sports socks and general air of artful dishevelment elevate her even higher on the slouchy scale.

 

Winner: Kristen Stewart

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