Turkey, schmurkey. Going home for the holidays is all about #BlackoutWednesday. Hitting the local bars with your old buds. (Yep, it’s gonna be a long one.) Don’t worry, we got your back. Here’s our handy guide to surviving Thanksgiving Eve—and making sure Thanksgiving Day isn’t an angry hungover mess. Good luck tonight, fellas. 

1. Jeans and a ratty T-shirt won't cut it. A nice sweater, some fitted pants, maybe a flannel and you're good to go. Warning: do not be that guy. You know the one who wears their work suit to the bar. 

2. Charge your phone beforehand. Don't get yourself in a sticky 3 AM situation where your mom has left you 300 voicemails and you're nowhere to be found. Anyone notice how you turn 17 again the second you're under your parents' roof? 

3. Line up a safe ride home early. This isn't the big city, ain’t no cab driver gonna pick you up. 

4. Don't put yourself—or anywhere else—in a Thanksgiving Day walk of shame situation. It's just uncalled for. 

5. That last shot of Jäger? Not necessary. At all.