Somebody call a doctor — there's a serious case of soccer fever sweeping through ASOS HQ. To help us fill the wait until the big kick off in Brazil next week, we asked Twitter's top soccer pundit, @usasoccerguy, to reminisce on some of his favorite goals — sorry, "awesomest goalshots" — from tournaments past.
Korea Northsiders Vs Brazil, 2010
"When the Korean Northsiders turned up at the 2010 World Soccer Cup in Africa, the entire world laughed. Never before had such a lame ass soccer team taken to a soccer field in a world soccer cup. To make it worse, they were soccering against the winningest team in world soccer cup history: Brazil Soccer Club.
Right before the completion whistle, they somehow managed to kick the soccer ball in the net. The entire world celebrated. For a few seconds, North Korea were the fat, ugly kid that had managed to take a real hot girl to prom night."
Beckham Deathstrike Makes Up For 98 Heartache
"Before reaching the peak of his soccer powers in LA, David Beckham had a pretty rough time. In the 1998 French World Soccer Cup he was given the major felony card after kicking some guy for Argentina, and took the blame for England Soccer Club losing that soccer match.
Four years later, Beckham flip reversed all the soccer hatin’ when he kicked home a soccer ball into a soccer net. It was enough to give England Soccer Club a real great win over... you guessed it, Argentina Soccer Club. 'Goalshot Balls' had gone from being a complete joke to a national hero."
The Hand Felony Of God
"Diego Madonna was the MVP of the Argentina back in 1986, but after scoring the first goalshot for his country against England Soccer Club, people would have been forgiven for thinking he was playing football!
As the soccerball went near the England danger box zone, the little guy kicked it home using his hand. The goalshot stood and after a not very memorable second from Madonna, the Argentines were on their way to glory."
Zidenine Zidane Totally Owns The Brazilians In 1998
"With the World Soccer Cup World Championship on the line, Zidenine Zidane took the cup home for the French as they beat a Brazilian all-star team in Paris in 1998. Zidane actually inserted twice, kicking them home with his head after corner restart kicks.
That same head would write very different headlines for Zidane eight years after in another world soccer cup final with the shame of his actions forcing him to quit playing soccer forever. Nevertheless, that one night in Paris sure was great."
Clint Dempsey's Cleat Rocket
"England Soccer Club shocked the world when they took the lead against the USMNT in the Africa World Soccer Cup of 2010, but a moment of Dempsey magic soon stopped the party. Real far out, Dempsey committed soccer homicide on the ball as he kicked it real hard. It flew through the air and scorched past the goaltender who could not make the hand denial.
Dempsey had opened up a can of awesome in Africa that day, but somehow the American team failed to go on and get the victory points and the game finished knotted at ones. Nevertheless, this moment is still widely regarded as the greatest of all World Soccer Cup goalshots."