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Ronaldo probably has them. Kanye definitely does. But could you? Read on for the unfiltered truth about spa treatments.
If you're a little bit terrified of diving headfirst into back, sack and crack-stripping shenanigans then a head massage is a good entry point into Planet Spa. To start with, you get to keep all your clothes on — a big win for everyone involved. Also, you've probably kind of had one before if you go to a hair salon rather than a barber's. You know the drill — half an hour of head and neck rubbing while you tune out and get Zen. They usually tell you to drink loads of water afterwards and they're right. For some reason, even simple massages give you the same raging need for H20 as a hangover.
Facials are often more than just a nice therapist rubbing moisturizer into your face. Some will involve the use of a steamer (so expect a sauna's worth of hot air blasted at your face), others feature the scary-sounding "extractions," where that same therapist starts poking around your spots. Sounds like torture? Well, maybe, but there's a reason athletes love them: afterwards your face will feel ultra-buffed, scrubbed and clean. For best results, don't be shy about letting them know about your skin problems — you're in the right place to sort them out.
OK, so deep tissue massage isn't exactly like being pummeled by a particularly sadistic '80s Bond villain, but it's not far off. Basically, you throw your head into a big pillow with a hole in the middle (try not to dribble through it) while the masseur gets to work on your muscles. But here's the thing — it feels amazing, especially if you've done yourself a mischief down the gym. Be honest when they ask you if it hurts though. Toughing it out = hobbling out.
Fine, getting a sweat on in a room with other men (and probably a few women too) isn't everyone's cup of tea. But if you drop your shyness at the door and think European, steam rooms and saunas are actually pretty amazing. For a start they cleanse your skin a treat and you can almost feel excess weight start to evaporate in the swirling steam. One pro tip: for goodness' sake, wear some swimsuits. Also, same rules apply as the gym — take a couple of towels so you can wipe your sweat off the seats.
Wax on, wax off
Welcome to the outer limits of men's grooming: body waxing. It's a simple procedure — the liquid wax goes on, hardens and… you know the rest. Hardcore it may be, but more people are having it done that you think. Professional (and a few amateur) swimmers for instance. Maybe your girlfriend. And nobody's telling us that football players in aftershave ads haven't had some body-rug removal sessions before the shoot. So give it a go — at least you'll be guaranteed sympathy from any women you tell (after they've finished giggling).
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